Tuesday, January 15, 2019

PRAYING FOR ANOTHER MIRACLE, Please Help!

This morning during meditation I picked two angel cards at random.
The cards read “GRACE” and “EXPLORATION.”
At once I thought, something quite wonderful is being asked of me, but
WHAT IS IT EXACTLY? How does one explore the very core of divine mystery?
Then I looked down and realized that a third card
just happened to fall out of the box. It read
“SISTERHOOD BROTHERHOOD.”  That’s when the task became as clear as holy water.
It’s time to pray in poetry and prose and art and music for my sister Karen, who suffered
a very serious stroke last September.
She was struck on the weekend
of her 63rdbirthday.
At the time, doctors were hardly encouragaing.
The neurosurgeon removed a clot the size of a tennis ball from the left side of her brain. It disrupted the area of her brain that controls language and motion.
So the doctors told us not to get our hopes up. They said they didn’t know if she would recover at all.
But then the miracles began. She found the strength  and will to recover much of the motion in her right leg, so that she can walk with assistance.
And she began talking once again in longish sentences.
Just recently, though, she has grown discouraged that she has no motion in her right arm and hand.
She carries them in a sling resting against her chest. Just a few days ago she saw a doctor (an orthopedist) who told her it was doubtful she would regain use of that arm.
NOW IT”S TIME TO EXPLORE GRACE. NOW IT’S TIME TO FACE THE PROBLEM SQUARELY. THE DOCTOR, YOU SEE, COULD BE WRONG. ACTUALLY, THE DOCTOR ABSOLUTELY WOULD BE WRONG IF WE COULD JUST WORK A MIRACLE.
Karen has already achieved several miracles in her recovery – just ask the neurosurgeon who saw her last week for the first time since the surgery.
He was amazed at her progress.
So how about we begin a campaign right here and now to achieve another miracle.
We focus our prayers on Karen regaining motion in her right arm and hand.
We picture her using the arm in all kinds of ways: throwing a ball, catching it, using a yo yo, shuffling cards, drying dishes, swimming, sewing (her favorite pastime), folding clothes, holding a baby (her daughter is pregnant), painting, planting (her other favorite pastime.)
Key to this miracle: we must get Karen on board with this visualization activity.
Maybe that too is part of the exploration of grace.  Maybe my job is to pray for a healer to appear, someone who has the power to convince my sister that she can go beyond the physical plane, that she can occupy the realm of the spirit. I am asking right here, right now for such a healer to appear. I am laying down lines of words in the hope that they are being heard in the sphere of the divine.
My sister isn’t a stranger to miracles. She came alive in October after she managed to say these two words out loud: BOUND AND DETERMINED! I wrote a whole poem about that, and about the extraordinary progress she made. She went from a feeding tube to solid food in less than three days. SHE FLABBERHASTED THE SPEECH THERAPIST!
So IT’S POSSIBLE TO INSPIRE HER.
Coming home from the rehab center, Karen has lost touch with that gung ho spirit of recovery that filled the air there.
We need a cheerleader. Somebody with credibility and somebody my sisiter respects and believes.
Please, God, I am asking for such a person to appear.
I am also asking that all the people who read these words think of my sister shrouded in love and light. THINK ABOUT HER FULLY HEALED.
Your prayers worked wonders in October and November.
So now I ask you, say another prayer, in any shape or form it comes out. Any prayer you can think of would be welcome, but make it as powerful as you can. Make yourself see my sister waving or digging or eating or doing anything else with her right hand.
And if you feel moved, write to her care of me. TELL HER HOW MUCH YOU HAVE INVESTED IN  HER RECOVERY. TELL HER HOW HAPPY YOU ARE THAT SHE HAS MADE SO MUCH PROGRESS. TELL HER TO KEEP THE FAITH. TELL HER TO GET IN TOUCH WITH THAT BOUND AND DETERMINED ENERGY ONCE MORE.
I am so grateful for your help!


Surrender

I see light flooding the meadow.
The furthest hillside is green and gold.
I am holding this beauty, and my sister, in my heart.
I start the day asking for divine guidance.
I beg the Almighty Infinite presence for a miracle,
that my sister may move her fingers.
I surrender in every moment.
I am grateful for the love of my husband.
I am grateful for this sunny day.
I am grateful for the way the sunshine falls on the meadow.
How many times can I say it before I fully surrender?

Wednesday, January 02, 2019

Linger

Only cool beneath these fingertips
and beneath the flesh of my hands.
Only a soft tickle of breath inside my nose
always and over and over again.
When I look up, sunlight is licking
the grey and brown trees and a pleasing
light light blue passes between the green.
I have seen this panorama every day.
Needles. Branches. Rock. Sky.
Maybe this time,
Maybe now 
I’m in the 
now
I will 
just feel it.
Air expanding my lungs.
A rainbow of prayer flags swinging
fluttering
between the saplings.
Everything is happening and
nothing
is how the now feels.
Nothing but cool
and warm air
and the less
and the less
I say the better.

Winter yard
hard cold soil
no snow.
Keep going back to the breath.
Keep landing there in your diaphragm.
BE.
Reverse your vision.
Stare into the back of your eyes.
Be here, empty.
Be here, present.
Drawing air there into my windpipe.
Cool fingers.
Linger.
Longer.
Try as I might to hold onto them,
I must lose all my beloved words
to go beyond them,
to feel what I have already heard.


Sunday, December 30, 2018

Golden Blue Morning

I can't let this morning go by
without saying that the weather
forecast today was all wrong.
Instead of four hours of snow
as predicted, we have this
ridiculously magnificent
powder blue sky and just a
speckling of snow. It feels
like the sky is melting into
the sun and the towering
pines and lower maples
are draped in a golden glow
too

heavenly to name.
I never tire of staring
into the sky and wearing
my baby blue mala beads
around my neck while
meditating over a candle.
And let me end by saying
that when I woke up and
saw the forecast I wanted
so desperately to see a
blue sky I thank the cosmos
for this dazzling and unexpected
blessing.




Saturday, December 29, 2018

Adventures in Blue

To begin, you are lying in bed, at least you think you are, your eyes are closed and you are feeling calm. You are breathing steadily and in front of you is a warm sea of heavenly blue green water, you can smell the salt, you can hear the crush of waves over and over again on the beach, you walk through the warm golden sand and kneel down and dig into it with both hands, and soon you are sitting cross legged at the edge of the sea, the pale blue sky filling you with sun, and you are infinitely grateful to be alive. Without thinking, you inhale a big breath of fresh ocean air and you exhale and you are infinitely grateful for an infinite number of things, starting with your breath and the world around you. 
You open your eyes and as you do you humbly ask for help from the angels and all ascended beings up in heaven and they come flying through the cosmos and land in a sparkling dancing ring of light all around you.   Close your eyes, they say, and do not open them again until we tell you to. They proceed to help you up from bed, robe you in powder blue, and lead you to the kitchen where you make a cup of delicious coffee.

Then they guide you to your meditation pillow. They help you sit down cross legged and it is at this point one of the angels whispers, “OK, you can open your eyes now,”and you do, you smile, because you are back in familiar territory, you will spend the next 45 minutes observing your breath, your thoughts, your body, your mind. To begin, you take a few big breaths in and out, you center yourself in the now, your soul begins rising no matter that there continues to be a red hot fire lurking somewhere, threatening at any moment to snuff out the light and close the blue road right down.
Your blue this time is the ethereal air, a heavenly place you are always aspiring to, and the angels continue to whisper in your ear.
All the while in the face of that scary red threat, you once again make a plea to heaven, you ask to be lifted up and out of your ego. Once again you feel the angels and ascendant beings circling you, this time they only need whisper the word ‘remember!’ And they circle you right there, you do remember that in every moment you have a CHOICE, in each moment you can turn toward the light, observe, observe and observe, sit there and let everything be what it will, accept the world the way it is, there will always be the red hot fire, just accept the fact that red is steady, just like blue, just watch it all, keep remembering you have FREE WILL, and in each moment, in every NOW, you can align yourself with the DIVINE, the HEAVENLY BLUE FORCE THAT EMPOWERS ALL EXISTENCE. Over and over again, you choose to focus on gratitude, thanks for this sister who is healing, thanks for that grandchild who is flowering, thank you for this house that is so beautiful, and on and on you make a list.
After a while, you get up from the meditation mat, and the day begins. You take out your exercise mat, and you do your yoga and when you get to the tree pose, which is your very favorite posture (making you think that you were a tree in a past life) you smile. Your adventure in blue has brought you to a peaceful place, where you can stay the rest of the day.

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

A Vast Rose Lighting up the Night Sky


This beautiful sky object, called the Rosette Nebula, sits in the constellation Monoceros, the Unicorn.  The nebula, which measures some 130 million light years in diameter, consists of a cosmic cloud of gas and dust that lies approximately 5000 light years away from earth. It resembles a rose. Massive stars at its core have exploded a hole in the cloud of material. In what looks like the petals, new stars are being born.
You don't have to be an astronomer to appreciate this spectacular formation. Just close your eyes and set the image squarely in your imagination. Try to fathom its size or for a real challenge, its distance from earth. I find that it lifts my spirits just to know that it exists here in the universe. You could say that it puts things in some kind of grand perspective.


Sunday, December 23, 2018

Magnificent Artwork by Kellie Meisl

My friend Kellie Meisl is an extraordinary artist. Look at this mermaid sculpture:


And here is another piece I adore, called "Flow." The red and the blue are almost too beautiful to behold!


And of course, Kellie did the piece that crowned my second novel, Seeing Red. In Kellie's original, the red background was purple.




Kellie does a lot of walking.

She has a blog called "Walk."

She collects odds and ends on her walks. Sometimes she uses these in her artwork.

Visit "Walk," it's well worth your while!

Saturday, December 22, 2018

Breathing Poetry

The on-line literary blog site Two Drops of Ink has published my poem, "A Cup of Poetry."


She asked me to open the blue box and let the monarch butterfly go free.
I told her I would do that, gladly.
She asked me how it is that I write poetry so often.
I told her that I breathe and let the words billow up like autumn leaves and then I just lay them casually on paper.
She asked me to show her how to do it.
How to breathe? I asked.
No, how to get the words to billow up.
Oh that part.
So I told her to start each day with a few yoga poses. Start each day watering flowers and green plants. Spend time being grateful for seeing, hearing, touching, smiling. Say prayers for those you love. Lift your eyes skyward and thank God for the gift of life.
But above all, I said, go outdoors with a silver cup and meditate.
Yes and then? She asked. How long am I supposed to wait?
You must be the one to decide that, I said. But it doesn’t help to be impatient.
What I didn’t tell her is that I go outside every day and sometimes a shower of golden words fills the cup.
And sometimes the cup remains bone dry. On those days, I breathe slowly, and watch myself feeling scared of being empty.
It passes, and then the words come, and they run on and on and on.
I just opened the blue box, and immediately the orange and black monarch rose up in flight.
And then I sat down to write this poem.

Friday, December 21, 2018

Solstice Explosion

On a day
when
winter
makes its
arrival
and it is
raining
a grey
drenching rain,
thank God there
is paint that explodes
out of tubes onto
canvas.


Thursday, December 20, 2018

Sunlight gratitude prayer

Soft light is starting to unfold over the meadow.

The hillside glows and the sky steadily turns more blue.
So many miracles every day to be grateful for, starting with
the night stars and the morning sunrise.
Thank you for the beauty that fills my eyes, and the love that fills my heart.
Thank you for bringing my sister back to life.
Thank you for giving us the strength to endure this awful trial.
Thank you for all the friends and family who have stood by us, praying.
Thank you for all the gifts we have, too numerous to name.
Or maybe, we should try to come up with a few.
For food, for light, for sight, for family, for mobility, for love, for flowers and
my new lemon tree.
For poetry and painting, for magic and music, for laughter and tears,
for good health and good times.
May we enjoy happy holidays and a health HAPPY NEW YEAR!