Tuesday, January 15, 2019

PRAYING FOR ANOTHER MIRACLE, Please Help!

This morning during meditation I picked two angel cards at random.
The cards read “GRACE” and “EXPLORATION.”
At once I thought, something quite wonderful is being asked of me, but
WHAT IS IT EXACTLY? How does one explore the very core of divine mystery?
Then I looked down and realized that a third card
just happened to fall out of the box. It read
“SISTERHOOD BROTHERHOOD.”  That’s when the task became as clear as holy water.
It’s time to pray in poetry and prose and art and music for my sister Karen, who suffered
a very serious stroke last September.
She was struck on the weekend
of her 63rdbirthday.
At the time, doctors were hardly encouragaing.
The neurosurgeon removed a clot the size of a tennis ball from the left side of her brain. It disrupted the area of her brain that controls language and motion.
So the doctors told us not to get our hopes up. They said they didn’t know if she would recover at all.
But then the miracles began. She found the strength  and will to recover much of the motion in her right leg, so that she can walk with assistance.
And she began talking once again in longish sentences.
Just recently, though, she has grown discouraged that she has no motion in her right arm and hand.
She carries them in a sling resting against her chest. Just a few days ago she saw a doctor (an orthopedist) who told her it was doubtful she would regain use of that arm.
NOW IT”S TIME TO EXPLORE GRACE. NOW IT’S TIME TO FACE THE PROBLEM SQUARELY. THE DOCTOR, YOU SEE, COULD BE WRONG. ACTUALLY, THE DOCTOR ABSOLUTELY WOULD BE WRONG IF WE COULD JUST WORK A MIRACLE.
Karen has already achieved several miracles in her recovery – just ask the neurosurgeon who saw her last week for the first time since the surgery.
He was amazed at her progress.
So how about we begin a campaign right here and now to achieve another miracle.
We focus our prayers on Karen regaining motion in her right arm and hand.
We picture her using the arm in all kinds of ways: throwing a ball, catching it, using a yo yo, shuffling cards, drying dishes, swimming, sewing (her favorite pastime), folding clothes, holding a baby (her daughter is pregnant), painting, planting (her other favorite pastime.)
Key to this miracle: we must get Karen on board with this visualization activity.
Maybe that too is part of the exploration of grace.  Maybe my job is to pray for a healer to appear, someone who has the power to convince my sister that she can go beyond the physical plane, that she can occupy the realm of the spirit. I am asking right here, right now for such a healer to appear. I am laying down lines of words in the hope that they are being heard in the sphere of the divine.
My sister isn’t a stranger to miracles. She came alive in October after she managed to say these two words out loud: BOUND AND DETERMINED! I wrote a whole poem about that, and about the extraordinary progress she made. She went from a feeding tube to solid food in less than three days. SHE FLABBERHASTED THE SPEECH THERAPIST!
So IT’S POSSIBLE TO INSPIRE HER.
Coming home from the rehab center, Karen has lost touch with that gung ho spirit of recovery that filled the air there.
We need a cheerleader. Somebody with credibility and somebody my sisiter respects and believes.
Please, God, I am asking for such a person to appear.
I am also asking that all the people who read these words think of my sister shrouded in love and light. THINK ABOUT HER FULLY HEALED.
Your prayers worked wonders in October and November.
So now I ask you, say another prayer, in any shape or form it comes out. Any prayer you can think of would be welcome, but make it as powerful as you can. Make yourself see my sister waving or digging or eating or doing anything else with her right hand.
And if you feel moved, write to her care of me. TELL HER HOW MUCH YOU HAVE INVESTED IN  HER RECOVERY. TELL HER HOW HAPPY YOU ARE THAT SHE HAS MADE SO MUCH PROGRESS. TELL HER TO KEEP THE FAITH. TELL HER TO GET IN TOUCH WITH THAT BOUND AND DETERMINED ENERGY ONCE MORE.
I am so grateful for your help!


Surrender

I see light flooding the meadow.
The furthest hillside is green and gold.
I am holding this beauty, and my sister, in my heart.
I start the day asking for divine guidance.
I beg the Almighty Infinite presence for a miracle,
that my sister may move her fingers.
I surrender in every moment.
I am grateful for the love of my husband.
I am grateful for this sunny day.
I am grateful for the way the sunshine falls on the meadow.
How many times can I say it before I fully surrender?

Wednesday, January 02, 2019

Linger

Only cool beneath these fingertips
and beneath the flesh of my hands.
Only a soft tickle of breath inside my nose
always and over and over again.
When I look up, sunlight is licking
the grey and brown trees and a pleasing
light light blue passes between the green.
I have seen this panorama every day.
Needles. Branches. Rock. Sky.
Maybe this time,
Maybe now 
I’m in the 
now
I will 
just feel it.
Air expanding my lungs.
A rainbow of prayer flags swinging
fluttering
between the saplings.
Everything is happening and
nothing
is how the now feels.
Nothing but cool
and warm air
and the less
and the less
I say the better.

Winter yard
hard cold soil
no snow.
Keep going back to the breath.
Keep landing there in your diaphragm.
BE.
Reverse your vision.
Stare into the back of your eyes.
Be here, empty.
Be here, present.
Drawing air there into my windpipe.
Cool fingers.
Linger.
Longer.
Try as I might to hold onto them,
I must lose all my beloved words
to go beyond them,
to feel what I have already heard.