Fingers Against Strings

Here I sit

wondering what to 

DO

NEXT.

It used to be that I was

busy 500 percent of the time.

But now that I’m trying to cultivate

AWARENESS

by

STOPPING

by

BEING in the present moment

by

feeling the sensations of flesh and muscle and bone 

inside my body

by

watching the things my mind says and

wants to do.

Now that all of that is going on

there are moments 

when

I am confused about what to do.

I think I should be accomplishing

SOME
THING.

SIGNIFICANT.

When really all I want to do is

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Recently I started guitar lessons

because I love the sound and feel of

fingers against strings.

The first lesson was fun

But then I HAD TO LEARN A SONG.

I had to focus on counting

And chord changes

And strumming.

SOMETHING DIDN’T CLICK.

The fingers against strings

and the resounding of the guitar

around my heart

were missing.

So now instead of lessons.

I am gong to pick up the guitar

And cradle it against my chest like it is a baby

And I am going to set

my fingernails against the strings

and see what happens

NEXT.

"Whatever Heaven Offers"

This is how the dream feels:

simple but full

of a strange

mystery too.

I keep reaching into some

kind of bottle or box

for new

blue contact lenses.

I lay them in my eyes

to see

the color of a pale sky.

I am seeing myself 

as a teacher of writing again too.

When I wake up, absolutely

everything feels possible.

I am skywriting

I am rewiring

I am uncluttered and

bathed in

rays of buttery light.

I tell Mary about the

dream and she says

think about this:

contact has a double meaning:

it describes the lenses yes

but it is also the condition

of new touching.

You have fresh vision in a

blue that is

cleansing and purifying.

It’s a wash that makes you

ready to deliver

whatever heaven

offers up.