For starters, she spent most of her childhood living in hospitals -- for months at a time. Diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at the age of two, Bonnie went to doctors who had no clue what to do with or for her.
They broke her wrists, too, three separate times, yes, that's right, three times, and then reset them in casts, hoping her wrist muscles would straighten out. The wrist muscles, like her leg muscles, did not straighten out. Because rheumatoid arthritis is NOT AN ORTHOPEDIC DISEASE. It is an auto-immune disorder, meaning the body mounts a severe immune response against itself.
The pain, in her words, was "unspeakable.'
As if that weren't enough, the doctors put Bonnie's legs in traction. Twice. When she was five and again when she was seven. To do that, they had to drill holes in her knees and her ankles. Yeah, she was just a child. And the procedures, the experiments, were totally unnecessary and ineffective. Many years after Bonnie suffered this horrible pain from the traction on her legs at North Adams hospital, she happened to see one of the doctors who had treated her. He had been a new doctor at the time.
“He was there when they put me in traction,” Bonnie recalls. "The doctor looked at me, and instantly he recognized me. I said to him, 'Yes, I know you, doctor,' and the doctor blurted out, 'We never should have done that to you.'
“He acknowledged me and I left in tears only because it was such an awful thing, I was an experiment, he knew it, he knew that it never should have happened.”
Before I met Bonnie on Monday, August 25, 2025, I interviewed her twice on the phone, each time for two hours straight. By the time I was finished these interviews, I had typed 25 pages of notes, single spaced.
Bonnie told me right away "my life is a book, and I want to write it."
When I finally got to meet Bonnie a couple of weeks ago, at her house, a home she was able to acquire in partnership with Central Berkshire Habitat for Humanity, an incredible not-for-profit organization in Pittsfield that makes it possible for everyday Americans -- teachers, nurses -- to own their own homes.
I knew for certain, immediately, that Bonnie's desire to write a book about her life was vital, not just for her, as she desperately needs it as part of her healing journey. But I knew too that it is incredibly important for the whole world to know Bonnie Hayden and what she has lived through.
The world doesn't yet know it, but they are waiting for her story.
Because Bonnie Hayden's life is the story of an incredible hero. And what we so desperately right now in our nation ARE STORIES OF ORDINARY PEOPLE WHO ARE EXTRAORDINARY, stories of people like Bonnie, who give us incredible HOPE. ******** When she was diagnosed at age two with rheumatoid arthritis, doctors told her mother, Rose, that Bonnie would never reach her 18th birthday. Then, when Bonnie turned 18, the doctors told Rose that Bonnie would never have children.
But she did. Bonnie is the proud mother of three healthy and beautiful adult kids, one of whom, Bobby, lives with her in a beautiful home that she never EVER EVER thought she would own.
What follows are the first steps that Bonnie is taking to write her book. The book she has always wanted to write.
"This book," she told me the other day, "is my truth. It's not the life that other people tell me I had. My sister tries to tell me what my life was like, but Louise May, she was 16 years older than me. She wasn't even there."
The letters that follow include Bonnie's very first writings, emails to me in response to mine to her. They are, collectively, a story for LABOR DAY. They are a rare and extremely courageous woman's story of an extraordinary LABOR.
********* Friday, Aug 22, 11:27 PM (9 days ago)
Hi Bonnie, so here is the healing story I wrote today, I spent many hours writing it, and I thought of you right away, because my HEART REALLY NEEDED IT! I thought it might give you food for thought about your own healing journey, whenever you are ready to take the first step.
More on Monday, August 25, 2025, when I pay you a FRIENDLY VISIT :)
HUGS,
Claudia
August 27, 2025
Hey Bonnie,
How would you like to have your own Substack column? Your son Bobby and I could set you up easily, he and your older son Andrew are sharp, sharp as razors
All you need to do is write ANYTHING you write anything
and I would put it into your own Substack or BOBBY COULD
just let YOUR story POUR OUT OF YOU
YOUR truth
just like I know you can do With a Substack blog, your story will go out to the world
RIGHT NOW
We could experiment. I could first put your writing, into my Substack
https://open.substack.com/pub/claudiaricci/p/art-heals-the-heart-here-s-how-i?r=ztmb9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false and then u will see how easy it is
Are you willing to try? I will coach you every step of the way
With a Substack, you will see your results immediately
YOU won’t need to WAIT, we can then assemble all of your columns into a book
OK, when you read the next email from me, talking about my labor with my sweet LINDSAY ANN on Sunday night, October 19, 1986,
After that, just write me as simple a letter as you want
it can be four words, or 40.
BREATHE in and out, staring into your doggy's eyes
then when you are very
relaxed
and not before,
just mosey back to your table, where you love to sit in the sunlight, like I am moseying right here to my table,
and
write something
anything will do just fine!
NO MORE EMAILS TONIGHT
promessa! Promise
Buona serra, sogni d'oro
Nighty night, sweet dreams dear new friend Bonnie Hayden
Claudia Ricci
Wed, Aug 27, 3:04 AM (4 days ago)
to Bonnie
That's Jocelyn on top, she is 40. She will be 41 on October 16th
LINDSAY
OK Bonnie, here is my LABOR STORY for my sweet Lindsay Ann:
October 19, 1986, it was a Sunday night
my WATER BROKE sitting on the couch immediately after giving a bday party for Jocelyn who was turning two.
Before I knew it, Richard was rushing me to the hospital at what felt like 90 miles an hour from Spencertown, me laboring the whole way, Richard hoping the whole way that we would get pulled over by a cop who could get us to Berkshire Medical Center
FAST
WELL, I had labored for what felt like forever for Jocelyn, my first little darling, it went for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and finally they gave me Pitocin in that awful New Jersey hospital. And then the nurses they left me alone, Bonnie.
It was very scary because I was having what felt like a train wreck in my abdomen and no one was there with me at all, except of course Richard who didn’t know what the hell was going on
My sister, Karen, was a labor and delivery room nurse at Berkshire Medical Center, but she wasn’t with me in New Jersey for Jossy, Karen told me later that my uterus could’ve exploded with the Pitocin. They were so so awful down there those nurses in New Jersey
Now I’m thinking about all the agony you suffered all your life growing up with Rheumatoid arthritis and those stupid doctors didn't know what the hell they were doing they put you through SUCH AGONY in the hospital
Oh, it makes me feel so angry, frustrated and confused, you have to write about it, Bonnie, it's YOUR HEALING JOURNEY, you have to start, just write me a letter maybe or not, whatever you want to do is fine... It’s way late, I have to go to bed, but I wanted you to know what I wrote in my journal today, I wrote this early in the morning when I was meditating: “I met Bonnie Hayden today. She already feels like another best friend!” Very late now, I have to get up to go to the doctor for my Medicare visit tomorrow morning. I will be busy until 12:30 and then free till 1:30 and then free again at 3 o’clock
Please don’t feel like you have to call me at all, really, no pressure no worries.
Write me a letter sometime. Tell me what it was like to go through that LABOR you alluded to with your stupid ass mother trying to get you to sign papers before your daughter was even born because, as you explained to me when we met at your house, your mother wanted you to give away your baby because she didn't think you would ever be able to take care of the baby and Social Services would then take the baby away and then your SSI check would go to your partner and then your mother would lose your SSI check...
My God...
I think one of the reasons I feel so close to you is that you have a girl and two boys and I have two girls and a boy. But what is incredible about you Bonnie, just one of the incredible things is that the doctors told your mother that you wouldn't live to 18, and then you did, and then the doctors said you would never have children, and you have three!
We have a lot to talk about my friend. Hope to hear from you soon, but no pressure no worries
Have a latte. And then, in italiano
ripossare— rest
ė (and)
rilassare — relax
I learned those two words today I’m trying to teach myself Italian with the help of a friend, a healing massage person actually. If you’d like, I will teach you some words too.
😂🙏❤️
***********
HELLO
Inbox
Bonnie Hayden
Fri, Aug 29, 10:00 AM (2 days ago)
Hi, it's been a full week. Full of crazy. I sent you a part of my giving birth story. I think. I sent it as a reply to yours. Unless i deleted it. LOL. Any way, I wanted to thank you for such a fun visit on Monday. You brought joy and excitement. Hope all is well with you. Have a wonderful weekend.
******
Good morning Claudia! I've had my coffee so i'm half human now.
So, my birth story actually started on Labor Day in 1986. Doug and I were at a big family thing with his family. (They did not like me but, tolerated me). I started contractions that day. i was admitted to BMC. Spent a couple days getting fluid and a small dose of Mag Sulfate. Dr. Haling put me on bedrest. So, that went ok.. I puttered. I rested.
The first week of October, contractions hit again. This time it was more serious. I was in the hospital for four days with more meds. Then an amnioscentisis. Neonatologist said baby needed two more weeks. Labor stopped, so, back home to rest. Then i started getting sick. October 19th was Doug's and me one year anniversary of being together. Dr. Haling said I could go fishing with Doug. (I hate fishing) then to dinner that night. Our anniversary was actually the 21st of October, but that was a school day.
Your friend, Bonnie
