This is what happens when you try to write a book about healing.
It looks like it’s going great guns, until you wake up one Monday morning and you can’t for the life of you get in touch with the DIVINE FORCES that you thought were
carrying the book
Ordinarily you would say you’re stuck. So what. Just be patient. That’s what you would tell a fellow writer. You would quote from Brenda Ueland’s amazing book, If You Want to Write.
“Inspiration comes very slowly and quietly,” advises Ueland, for whom writing is a supremely spiritual activity. “When I wait with inspiration, my time is not wasted.”
But you quickly ignore this advice. You make the mistake you don’t have to make.
You panic. You don’t want to feel frantic but you can’t be sure how to stop it, the feeling that here now is a vast chasm between you and divine inspiration.
You wonder this: maybe I have said all that needs to be said. Maybe this was never a book to begin with. Maybe you won’t write one more word.
That’s no reason to descend into the dread zone. Is it?
Your husband suggests you paint.
IT COMES OUT DARK BLUE AND RED,
With twinges of white
And light blue.
Painting takes some of the pressure and insecurity away. All that bad energy that gets bottled up has got to go somewhere.
It helps to recall what the Buddhists say,
Avoid all craving and pushing away.
Stay in the mode of
Strive for serenity.
Feel the air flooding in and picture it running up through your ten fingers and both hands and your two arms and elbows and shoulders.
Fill your chest. Let the pillow of air rest there.
Lie down on your back on the floor.
Inhale to the count of four.
Hold it for the count of seven.
Exhale for the count of eight.
Don’t hate where you are. Don’t push it away.
PRAY FOR ACCEPTANCE.
PREGO PER ACCETTAZIONE.
Just stay in the moment you’ve got. FEEL ALL THE LOVE YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE. Breathe.
And then take a vigorous 4.2 mile walk up Baldwin Hill Road. When you get back, feeling like a pool of sweat, turn on the cold water in the outdoor hose and spray it all over your head.
When you finally get inside, and take your shower, your frustration will have faded significantly.
Make a vow: that you won’t drive yourself so crazy tomorrow!