More Mystery, More Monte!

Dear Monte -- I look up and the morning sun is crawling up the hillside that

I stare at from my grey sofa, where I sit to do so much of my writing.

And in a flash of memory THAT IS JUST LIKE LIGHT ITSELF, EPHEMERAL AND FLEETING, I fly back several decades to so many, many dinners with my Grandma Mish's delicious food. They feel so close, these memories. IT'S LIKE YESTERDAY IT'S LIKE TODAY IT'S LIKE TIME DOESN'T EXIST EXCEPT IN GIANT REPEATING SPIRALS!

SO, what I remember best are Grandma Mish's tender meatballs, and her absolutely mouth-watering ravioli -- homemade pasta as delicate as clouds! The ravioli would puff up like tiny yellow pillows in the bubbling water and then they would melt in your mouth, the delicious spinach and hamburger inside, all smothered in her luscious tomato sauce.

When I was pregnant with Ronen and Dani's mom, your Auntie Jocelyn, I was way too nauseous to eat very much. But the days I visited Grandma Mish, I would devour a plate full of ravioli covered in Mish's delicious spaghetti sauce, oh no problem.

I also remember Grandma Mish's pillowy soft bosom. I remember her holding a large crusty loaf of her homemade bread tight up against her breast and setting the knife going toward herself and all of us sitting at the dinner table holding our breath, would she cut herself, but no, she simply sawed off a slice of bread that was heavenly fresh and absolutely amazing, toasted crisp -- with delicious burnt edges -- in the toaster.

HOW CAN IT BE THAT IT SEEMS LIKE GRANDMA MISH AND GRANDPA "POP" CLAUDE --FOR WHOM I WAS NAMED-- ARE RIGHT HERE BESIDE ME AS I STARE AT PHOTOS OF MY DARLING MONTE???

sitting as they always did in their tiny living room in Canton, Connecticut. Each of them had an easy chair. They were always just there, waiting for family members to visit their tidy little house. Grandpa always had a small glass of red wine in his hand and his lips were slightly reddened too.

I was in my 30s when I brought each of my children -- your Auntie Jocelyn and your mom Lindsay and your Uncle Noah -- to see my dear grandparents who I adored. I brought my babies when they were just a few weeks older than you are now. Oh how excited Mish and Pop were to see their great grandchildren.

Oh how incredible it was to fly to Denver last week to see you with my two eyes and hold you with my two arms!

You are so so tiny. Your face and hands are miniature. I look at you and this it what goes through my mind:

One day you weren't here. And then, the next, you were! As granddaughter Dani asks, "How do you make a person?" How amazing that people come to be. What a mystery babies are. How amazing that my own children, those same great grandchildren I brought to see Mish and Pop swaddled in cotton baby blankets, are themselves in their 30s, having babies! Like I said, time is water right now, and I am swimming in an ocean of love that washes back and forth across my heart! It's especially easy to stream backward and forward in time, now that I have my birthday present from your Mom and her sibs: a digital photo frame into which you can load an infinite number of photographs! The photos come up in a dizzying array of timeframes. People we love. Places we've been. And I am loading like crazy, enjoying memories of hikes in Breckenridge and Telluride and Carbondale and Crested Butte, Colorado, and the Red Rocks, only 20 minutes from Denver, where your grandfather and I hiked last week while visiting you!

Here is a photo of the San Juans, which we took on our way to Telluride in October:

as We've hiked as well in the Sierras of California, and of course, in our beloved Berkshires too.

I WILL STOP NOW. AND SLOWLY, take another breath. And close my eyes, as the sun falls behind the hillside outdoors here in Massachusetts, and I feel the deepest gratitude for all of my incredible blessings.

But before I stop, here's one more amazing coincidence: Your mom kept saying that she might give birth to you on my birthday, November 29th. Well, the funny thing is she did give birth to you on my birthday, because just like you, I too was born on the Saturday after Thanksgiving in the wee DARK HOURS of the morning! I too was born in a hurry, like you were. I smile thinking that we share this connections!

And just one more. My mom, Dena Rotondo Ricci, made a scrapbook for me when I was younger and the first page has my birth certificate.

And guess what?

You weighed in at a healthy 7 pounds, 3.5 ounces.

And me, I weighed

7 pounds 3 ounces.

Hey! Aren't we a wonderful pair!!!!