CHAPTER FOURTEEN: "HERE NOW THE MOST BASIC FEAR OF ALL: THE EVIL EYE!!!!!"

That last chapter was supposed to take care of fear. Ha! If only it were that easy.

Just as I finished writing Chapter Thirteen, I realized that I hadn't finished discussing fear. This morning it came back with a vengeance. Which is ironic, because after writing the last chapter, where I talked about all the ways that I take care of myself each day, I was feeling, well, quite good. And even, proud of myself.

Ah, but that's exactly when the guilt, and the fear flared up.

In my ancestral family script, which was laced with superstition, and low self-esteem, it wasn't safe or polite to talk about how good you feel or how happy or successful or healthy or attractive you are. Why?

On the surface, it's because nobody ever wanted to be accused of showing off.

But there are deeper explanations. By bragging, you tempt fate; who knows when your luck might run out, turning your otherwise happy life upside down. You might feel like you're on top of the world one day, but then you are almost certain to go into a slide. Then what? You end up so so embarrassed!

Superstitious thinking like this suggests that somehow you have to pay back for whatever good fortune you enjoy by facing a downslide.

But there is another explanation. You don't want to brag because you don't want to take the chance that you stir up jealousy in another person; if you do, you run the risk of invoking the "evil eye," known in Italian as "mal'occhio." In other words, someone seeing your bounty of success or riches might become so jealous they could intentionally OR unintentionally level a curse on you!

It's not like anyone sat me down and explained these "principles;" no one said to me, "Claudia you better be on guard for someone else's evil intentions."

But I am certainly the product of that miserably superstitious

(and paranoid) way of thinking. How often has my husband said to me that I should feel good about my achievements; that I should share my good feelings and do more to promote my accomplishments. When I do promote myself, I feel discomfort. I feel like I should apologize for feeling good about myself. And I do have anxiety that someone might be jealous of me. My instinct is to be apologetic, just to be on the safe side.

As I have been sitting here writing and thinking about mal'occhio, I have begun to feel fearful. So I decide to waste a little time by doing some internet "research." Specifically, I go to Google and call up "the evil eye," and lo and behold,

what I discover is that Italians are hardly the only ethnic group that grapples with fear of the evil eye.

According to an article in The Washington Post, "the evil eye symbol has been found through thousands of years of history across cultures, including in Latin America and parts of Asia. The symbol, most often depicted as four concentric circles in the shape of an eye, is used to ward off variations of evil intentions."

In Italy it's the "mal'occhio."

In Spain, it's called "el ojo maligno."

In Yiddish, people say "kinehora," which consists of the words “kein ayin hara,” -- that translates into "no evil eye."

In Greek, it's κακό μάτι or simply μάτι (mati), or "eye".

In Turkish and Arabic, it's "nazar," or sight.

In Chinese, the pictograph for the evil eye looks like this:

惡魔之眼

Wikipedia informs me that "The belief in the evil eye among humans has existed since prehistory, and amulets to protect against it have been found from dating to about 5,000 years ago."

Brittanica says: "Those most often accused of casting the evil eye include strangers, malformed individuals, childless women, and old women." Lovely.

And in another account I learn that the skill in being able to ward off the evil eye is one that is traditionally handed down from mother to daughter.

It's not entirely clear why the eye possesses so much power. But historically, even the Bible contains references to it: According to Luke 11:34, "Your eye is the lamp of your body. If your eye is healthy, your whole body is full of light; but if it is not healthy, your body is full of darkness."

OK, so now I am sitting here thinking, it's about time I write about this. It's about time I LEARN about this. Most important, it's time I figure out if I can FREE MYSELF FROM THIS FEAR!!!!! But how can I possibly expunge something from my psyche that has been embedded since ancient times?

Pardon me while I do some more reading.

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What most astonishes me is that I never realized how primal this belief system is/was. It is for all intents and purposes comparable to a Jungian archetype. I certainly saw evidence of this when we visited Greece, where the blue and white circular amulets that ostensibly protect you against the evil eye

appeared everywhere we went. And in southern Italy, the horn known as the "cornicello" -- it looks like a small chili -- hangs on a necklace around the necks of so many many Italians.

I pause now to write in Italian:

"Please help me not be afraid of the evil eye!"

"Per favore aiutami a non aver paura del malocchio!"

There are tests for the evil eye, and one of the most common involves olive oil. You fill a glass or a shallow dish with water. Then you place a drop of olive oil on the surface of the water.

If the oil floats, there is no evil eye. Ah but if the oil sinks, that constitutes evidence of the evil eye. Or, a variation: if you put two drops of oil on the water, and they remain separate, there is no evil eye. But if they merge, bam, bad luck is headed your way. Other rituals involve ordinary table salt.

When I write this down, the absolute silliness of it all hits me. Still, my mother used to tell me that her own mother, my Grandma Mish, subscribed to the superstition of mal'ochio. Apparently, Italians relied on the evil eye to explain all manner of bad fortune.

No one ever performed an evil eye test in my presence, and yet I do believe that the superstitions and fear have lived on in my family. And while there are superstitious rituals and prayers for removing the evil eye, I am not interested in any of them. I am interested in ridding myself of any lingering fear.

I turn to Google once more, asking, how do I release any fear I might have associated with the evil eye?

Wildly enough, I get a very good answer from Quora, which is a question and answer platform. Yes, the answer appears to come from a BOT!

Question: How can I live without fear of the evil eye?

"It's understandable to feel anxious about the possibility of others being jealous or wishing you harm, but it's important to remember that superstitions like the 'evil eye' have no scientific basis. It's unlikely that someone's negative thoughts or feelings can actually cause harm to you. If you find that you're still feeling anxious about this, there are some things you can do to help ease your worries. One thing you might try is focusing on positive affirmations and surrounding yourself with supportive people who genuinely want to see you succeed. It can also be helpful to practice mindfulness and meditation to help calm your mind and reduce stress. Ultimately, it's important to remember that you are in control of your own thoughts and feelings. Don't let superstitions or the actions of others dictate how you feel about your own successes and happiness."

Not bad for a bot. Not bad at all.

The bot offers more information and so, I accept. Here is what the bot -- called POE AI -- writes:

"Here are a few additional points to consider:

"Recognize the power of perception: Sometimes, our own beliefs and fears can influence how we interpret the actions of others. It's possible that what you perceive as jealousy or ill intentions may be a result of your own worries. Try to approach situations with a more balanced perspective and consider alternative explanations for people's behaviors.

"Focus on self-confidence: Building self-confidence and a strong sense of self-worth can help protect you from the opinions and actions of others. When you are secure in your own abilities and accomplishments, you are less likely to be affected by external negativity. Work on developing your skills, setting and achieving goals, and celebrating your own successes.

"Surround yourself with positivity: Surrounding yourself with supportive and positive people can make a significant difference in your overall well-being. Seek out friends, family members, or mentors who genuinely want to see you succeed and who can provide encouragement and constructive feedback. Positive influences can help counterbalance any negative energies you may encounter.

"Practice gratitude and mindfulness: Cultivating a practice of gratitude and mindfulness can help you stay grounded and focused on the present moment. By appreciating what you have and being mindful of your thoughts and emotions, you can reduce anxiety and worry about the opinions of others. Engaging in activities such as meditation, journaling, or deep breathing exercises can be beneficial.

"Protect your energy: Pay attention to your own energy levels and emotional well-being. If you feel drained or depleted after interactions with certain individuals, it may be helpful to set boundaries or distance yourself from them. Surround yourself with positivity and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

"Remember, while it's natural to want the support and approval of others, it's important to prioritize your own happiness and well-being. By building your inner strength and focusing on positive aspects of your life, you can live without fear of the so-called "evil eye."

Hmmmm. POE makes good points. I guess after reading them, I feel less fearful about the "evil eye."

But I think I feel a little more fearful about the power of AI!