Wednesday, May 23, 2007

"Tic Toc Tic Toc"

By Joni Daidone

Com’on what do say we make a baby tonight. A little bratty girl with big brown eyes, dark wavy hair in pigtails, and a mischievous toothless smile.

Spawn of Jackie. I don’t think the world can handle another little Jackie running around.

Oh com’on. If you’re good, I will make sure she has your mouth, maybe even your nose, but not your teeth, god please not your teeth.

While you’re at it make sure she doesn’t end up with your boobs, that’s all I need, to have to follow her around with a shotgun. Look I’m too old to deal with pimply- faced goons with too raging testosterone.

Don’t worry, she’s probably end up flat-chested like your mom.

My mom isn’t flat-chested.

Of course she is. Don’t look at her now, look at when she was
Twenty, flat as an ironing board.

Well your mom had a weird nose.

Weird nose, that’s a Roman nose, a classic nose, the gods and goddesses
Of Rome had noses like my mom.

Now you’re descended from the Romans gods, I thought you were
A Mayan princess in your past life.

Not past life, ancestors. My Italian heritage.

Oh right, thought they were all Mafiosi.

Again with the Mafia, my family grew olives and grapes, where
Do you get this Mafia stuff from?

Ok, ok can I get back to my book now?

But I thought we going to make little Teresa tonight.

Little who?

Teresa, I’m planning on naming her after my grandmother, you know
That’s an Italian tradition. That’s so when you call everyone for dinner
You only have to say one or two names and everybody comes a' running.

Writer Joni Daidone divides her time between Millerton, New York and New York City where she lives with her husband, Brian, and dog-child Miles. She writes advertising copy to pay the mortgage and short plays and stories to keep her sanity. MyStoryLives is delighted to welcome her to its bank of writers!


Grace said...

I'm sorry but...the Mayas were native to Central America, not Italy.

joniwriter said...

Yes, of course, it was a joke. Read again. He's saying one minute she's descended from the Romans, and the next minute she's saying she was a Mayan princess in a past life.