I am not frightened. I am ready.
this book since February, 7 or 8 months now,
I am Leah.
after seven YEARS
I REALIZE THAT I AM HEALED. I feel so healed. So humble. So grateful. it's incredible. And in the end,
the realization came so suddenly
it took only one night -- a momentous night when OUR DAD RICHARD LOUIS RICCI
CAME TO HOLLY AND ME SIMULTANEOUSLY!!!!!!!
ALL OF A SUDDEN, WHEN I LEAST EXPECTED IT DAD CAME!!!!!
HE SHOWED HOLLY EXACTLY WHERE TO LOOK IN THE HUMONGOUS PILE OF PHOTOS
THE PHOTO OF OUR RICCI ANCESTORS THAT WE WERE DYING TO FIND.
(more on that tomorrow)
WE ARE DYING TO MEET OUR ANCESTORS THIS SUNDAY ON DIA DE LOS MUERTOS!)
when I have my whole family over for dinner! Spaghetti and meatballs, what else?
And now I realize this:
that I am completely and utterly done finished fini finito
with the devastating depression, the illness that struck me in 2012. HOORAY AND HALLLLLELUJAH
the STORY OF HOW I REALIZED I WAS FINALLY HEALED
IS A SACRED STORY
Last night's installment started in the middle of the night, under a foolish moon, no no, not a FOOLISH MOON at all (although some may call it so but who cares WHAT ANYBODY SAYS ABOUT THIS BOOK IT HAS HEALED ME THANK YOU GOD AND MARY AND ALL THE ANGELS!!!!)
Mary Marino, my spiritual guide, would say, "just keep going and feeling your feelings and don't worry about how your book lands."
Peg Woods, DR. PM WOODS, my writing buddy and co-director of the UMASS WRITING PROGRAM
she too said to me during our Friday ZOOM (we're both writing books and trading chapters).
She said this to me last week:
"Who knows how our stories affect people? We just have to put it out there and see what happens."
So here you go:
UNDER A FULLISH MOON
(HOLY SHIT -- IT JUST HAPPENED AGAIN. ANOTHER SYNCHRONICITY!!! WHEN I WROTE THE WORDS "FULLISH MOON" I DECIDED TO START LOOKING THROUGH 12 YEARS OF PHOTOS TO SEE IF I HAD TAKEN A PHOTO OF THE MOON IN THE WINDOW AND I SAID TO RICH:
"I just wish I had a photo of the full moon in the bedroom window THE NIGHT MY DAD DIED"
AND AT THAT VERY INSTANT THIS PHOTO HERE
APPEARS ON MY SCREEN like
This is what you call a SYNCHRONICITY, OR, a GODWINK, as Kathy Joy informed me.
And my darling husband Richard Kirsch calls THEM
Anyway, getting back to
the photo of the fullish moon is exactly what I was gazing at the night
when my DAD RL RICCI passed, August 15 2020, 1:30 or 2 a.m. Holly was by his side in hospice in Amherst, MA
and I was at home in bed. That night she called me and said
"I CAN FEEL ALL SORTS OF OTHER PRESENCES HERE."
Last night when for some unexplained reason
I could not find sleep.
That moon was exactly what I was staring at again!
So at 11:30 I got up and took a long long hot shower