I REALIZE AM HEALED, thanks to MY DAD -- who passed August 15, 2019 -- AND WHO CONTACTED ME AND MY SISTER HOLLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!!!!

I am not frightened. I am ready.  

Finally 

after writing 

this book since February, 7 or 8 months now,

I am Leah. 

I am 

after seven YEARS

I REALIZE THAT I AM HEALED. I feel so healed. So humble. So grateful. it's incredible. And in the end,

the realization came so suddenly

it took only one night -- a momentous night when OUR DAD RICHARD LOUIS RICCI

THE LITTLE FACE PEEKING OUT BEHIND BABY LINDSAY IS MY SISTER HOLLY

CAME TO HOLLY AND ME SIMULTANEOUSLY!!!!!!!

ALL OF A SUDDEN, WHEN I LEAST EXPECTED IT DAD CAME!!!!! 

HE SHOWED HOLLY EXACTLY WHERE TO LOOK IN THE HUMONGOUS PILE OF PHOTOS

TO FIND

THE PHOTO OF OUR RICCI ANCESTORS THAT WE WERE DYING TO FIND. 

(more on that tomorrow)

WE ARE DYING TO MEET OUR ANCESTORS THIS SUNDAY ON DIA DE LOS MUERTOS!)

when I have my whole family over for dinner! Spaghetti and meatballs, what else?

And now I realize this:

that I am completely and utterly done finished fini finito 

with the devastating depression, the illness that struck me in 2012. HOORAY AND HALLLLLELUJAH

the STORY OF HOW I REALIZED I WAS FINALLY HEALED

IS A SACRED STORY

Last night's installment started in the middle of the night, under a foolish moon, no no, not a FOOLISH MOON at all (although some may call it so but who cares WHAT ANYBODY SAYS ABOUT THIS BOOK IT HAS HEALED ME THANK YOU GOD AND MARY AND ALL THE ANGELS!!!!)

Mary Marino, my spiritual guide, would say, "just keep going and feeling your feelings and don't worry about how your book lands."

Peg Woods, DR. PM WOODS, my writing buddy and co-director of the UMASS WRITING PROGRAM

she too said to me during our Friday ZOOM (we're both writing books and trading chapters).

She said this to me last week:

"Who knows how our stories affect people? We just have to put it out there and see what happens."

So here you go:

it happened

UNDER A FULLISH MOON

(HOLY SHIT -- IT JUST HAPPENED AGAIN. ANOTHER SYNCHRONICITY!!! WHEN I WROTE THE WORDS "FULLISH MOON" I DECIDED TO START LOOKING THROUGH 12 YEARS OF PHOTOS TO SEE IF I  HAD TAKEN A PHOTO OF THE MOON IN THE WINDOW AND I SAID TO RICH:

"I just wish I had a photo of the full moon in the bedroom window THE NIGHT MY DAD DIED"

AND AT THAT VERY INSTANT THIS PHOTO HERE 

APPEARS ON MY SCREEN like 

MAGIC!

This is what you call a SYNCHRONICITY, OR, a GODWINK, as Kathy Joy informed me.

And my darling husband Richard Kirsch calls THEM

COINKDINKIES.

Anyway, getting back to

LAST NIGHT

the photo of the fullish moon is exactly what I was gazing at the night

when my DAD RL RICCI passed, August 15 2020, 1:30 or 2 a.m. Holly was by his side in hospice in Amherst, MA

and I was at home in bed. That night she called me and said

"I CAN FEEL ALL SORTS OF OTHER PRESENCES HERE."

Last night when for some unexplained reason

I could not find sleep.

That moon was exactly what I was staring at  again!

So at 11:30 I got up and took a long long hot shower

and then for some reason

just to relax more

I took a long hot bath. 

I was reading a book that profiles psychics. It's terrific and it is called

"THE GIFT WITHIN."

Anyway,, I got back in bed, and that's when the texting with HAW (my name for Holly and hers for me is CAW because as a baby she couldn't pronounce

Claudia)

started in earnest 

Now, I am going to stop writing this chapter so I might post it and also eat my steel cut oats and do some yoga. The teacher I'm following today is Koya Webb, from Insight Timer, an amazing app that does yoga, meditation, yoga nidra and everything else you can imagine.

Koya taught this morning and I found it to be among the most sacred yoga I have taken ever.

Her white leotard against her beautiful brown skin

reminds me of

the moon shining

in the window.

Again

and

Again

and when I sent my daughter

 Lindsay 

MY LAST CHAPTER called "Your Ancestors Love You Beyond Belief" 

(this is Lindsay and me in Firenze, Italy, in 2010)

she wrote back something that sent me into shivers of joy:

"Very cool piece Mom. The astrologer i listen to said this Halloween/full moon/Dia de los Muertos

is a VERY GOOD TIME TO CONNECT WITH THE ANCESTORS."

MORE SHORTLY....