By the time I reach Signora Bichietti's house, I am in something of a panic. I realize that I can no longer confide in Mama, and neither can I be truthful with Nunzi. I have nobody to turn to except for me!
Without knowing why, I suddenly recall that G gave me a poem last night!!! How could I forget? But it is at home, alas, and now I have to work for Signora B all day.
Soon I have my hands in hot sudsy water and once again, I am scrubbing shirts and smelly diapers and underwear. And then I'm rinsing them and then I'm wringing them out and then I'm hanging them in Signora's back yard. I also wash the floors and apply wax.
I'm fed up to here with this hard work, but what choice do I have? I manage to get through the afternoon knowing that as soon as I get home, I will read the poem Giovanni wrote for me! He says I should believe every word!
"My dearest Filomena,
One year ago, the sun
didn't shine as brightly
as it does now. Nor the moon!
Why? Because I didn't know you.
How is it possible that I actually
thought I was alive?
The fact is, I wasn't, my precious girl!
Meeting you, however, I've been born anew!
Truly, my world has exploded
with fresh joy and wonder and all the
colors of the universe.
I have been swept up by you like wind meeting a cloud;
I cherish your beautiful lips, your magical black eyes,
your mountain of wavy hair!
I've discovered a whole new
language of love through you!
I am full of desire, Fi, and I pray
that you may be as well.
All these months away have
convinced me that we belong together
forever. Don't you agree?
Please say yes, yes, yes!
It is my deepest wish that I may
tell you very soon
exactly
when we can
marry!
-- Your beloved Giovanni"
Only after Mama enters the house do I fold up the poem and slip it, this time, beneath my mattress. I wipe my eyes and jump up from the bed and head out to greet my mother, with a smile that starts deep in my heart!!!!
********
On Wednesday morning, I have coffee and a cornetto with Mama. I tell her very casually that I am going to see Nunzi after work. It's a lie of course, but now that I am certain of Giovanni's love, and very hopeful that we will marry, I feel that I am entitled to lie. Even if it isn't official, he is, after all, my intended and I must be loyal first and foremost to him.
The day feels like it drags on endlessly. It's a new job, for a lady named Benedetta Talarico. Two weeks ago, she had her third baby, a girl named Bianca. Mama told Signora Talarico that I would help her out. Which normally I'm happy to do, just not today!
I watch the two older boys, ages four and two, while at the same time, I cut up carrots and onions and tomatoes for minestrone. Then I cook pasta with fagiole for the boys, Alejandro and Stefano, and after a fashion, I get them to lie down to nap.
While they sleep, I do what I love to do most - I wash diapers, of course! That takes me more than an hour, and I'm not finished, but by then the boys are awake. I take them in to see Signora Talarico, who is in bed, nursing the baby off and on, all day long. She had a very rough delivery, according to Mama, so she is not able to walk around much. Whenever she needs something, she calls on me to bring it to her.
At ten minutes to the hour, I tell Signora that I must go.
"Oh, Filomena, could you please take the baby for a few minutes?" My eyes fly open.
"I was...Signora, I was hoping to go now, as I have...an appointment...to meet someone."
"Yes, yes, I understand, but it won't take but a few minutes. You know, I must do something quite private!" She smiles shyly and hands the baby over to me; little Bianca is tightly wrapped in a swaddle -- una fasciare -- the way all newborns are swathed.
The clock is ticking. I have to get to the church on time.
Bianca must feel how tense I am, because she immediately starts wailing. I walk back and forth, bouncing her against my chest. And then both the boys start to cry, and I think to myself, do you really want to get married and have children?
Oh, but I know that my babies will be well behaved, at least I hope so!
Bianca keeps crying, her tiny face getting so red it almost looks purple! And the boys keep crying, too, asking for their mother, who is in the bedroom taking more than a few minutes.
I am tempted to set the baby down and just run out the door! But I know Mama would be absolutely furious. I can just hear her: "What's your big hurry?"
Finally Signora Talarico is finished. She takes Bianca from me and settles in the chair. I know it would be best if I waited until Signora's husband came home. If Mama knew I was abandoning Signora to meet Giovanni, I can only imagine what she'd say. Certainly I'd have hell to pay! But as it is, Mama would refuse to let me see Giovanni at all, because he hasn't formally proposed.
Finally, I say goodbye and I go. It's ten after five! What if G has left?
I am running as fast as I can through the streets and as I take a corner two blocks from the church, I lose my balance and go flying, landing face down on the cobbles. I hit both knees and the palms of my hands. I feel broken!!! Lying there, I send up a wail almost as loud as Bianca's was back at Signora T's!!!!
But when I open the door, there is no one at all in the sanctuary. Has he already left? I walk slowly up the aisle. The church is completely empty!
All the anxiety of the last few days, and the fall in the street, and my intense disappointment finding that Giovanni either never showed, or has already departed, all of it overwhelms me now, and I start sobbing into my hands, which are scraped and bleeding and bruised and filled with grit from the cobblestones. I look down and both of my knees are bleeding too.
Covering my mouth with my bloody hands, I just stand there crying. I am completely heartbroken, thinking I won't see Giovanni anymore! I have lost my last chance to meet him. How will I ever manage to find him again?
I know I must go, but I'm frozen to the church floor. Feeling frantic, I decide that perhaps I will walk to San Lucido again. "I can do that, yes and I will do that, tomorrow," I tell myself. Right now though, I know I need to go home and get myself cleaned up and bandaged.
Turning, I walk toward the door and as I am reaching for the handle I hear Giovanni calling my name:
"Oh Filomena you came, you came, you're here!"
I turn and Giovanni is rushing madly down the aisle toward me. "Oh Fi, what happened to you? Your face is...oh God, you're bleeding!" He takes me in his good arm and practically crushes me.
Now I am crying tears of joy. He's here, and I am here, and no matter that I am bleeding all over, everything will be fine.
What happens next is so much more than I can take in, at least at first.
After covering my bloody face and hands with kisses, Giovanni steps back from me. Smiling in a wild sort of way, he bends to one knee.
I stand there, speechless, completely stunned. Did I hear him correctly?
"You mean...you mean we can..."
"Yes, yes, yes, yes," Giovanni says and now he is standing and holding me again, and crying too. "We can marry each other Fi just as soon as you want to!" What miracle is this? Am I really standing here, staring at Giovanni who has actually proposed to me? How can this be?
Father Crudele walks up to stand just behind Giovanni, his hands in a prayer position and the miracle is this: he is actually smiling at me, in way that can only be described as benevolent. His eyes look kind, in a way that almost reminds me of Papa! How is that possible?
Oh what joy Papa would feel if he were here in the church with me this evening. As Giovanni and I embrace and prepare to leave the church, I decide that Papa is here, and maybe he was the one who helped clear the way for my wedding!
No comments:
Post a Comment