But first, a BIG QUESTION: why have I suddenly seized on the first person with such a vengeance in this book? If you recall, it was only one short week ago that I jettisoned the name Leah as if she were a badly stained T shirt. She wasn't. I loved Leah. She just doesn't belong in the book anymore.
I didn't hesitate for a moment. With my spiritual therapist Mary's blessing, I went full steam ahead with my old Sister Mysteries moniker, Gina.
NOW I FEEL UNLEASHED. NOW I FEEL LIKE I CAN DO THE JOB I AM SUPPOSED TO DO!
Now I sit here staring at the screen and say how EXACTLY DO I GET BACK TO MY ANCESTORS AGAIN?
OF COURSE. In Italian.
The first thing that comes to mind is something my Mom, otherwise known as Dee or Dinky, used to say to me. "Tu sei fortunato."
"You are fortunate." I don't recall why she said it. But she was right, she is right. I am terribly fortunate. I could list the many ways I am, i.e. do a gratitude list, and I will do that, and HAVE DONE THAT REPEATEDLY.
I FEEL SO FORTUNATE TO HAVE BEEN SELECTED TO WRITE MY ANCESTORS' STORY. IN PARTICULAR, MY GREAT GREAT GRANDMOTHER FILOMENA SCRIVANO'S STORY.
THERE IS SO MUCH TO SAY, WHERE DO I
IT IS THANKS TO MY COUSIN DONNA RICCI, THAT WE HAVE THIS INCREDIBLY SWEET PHOTO OF HER:
I POSTED THIS PHOTO ON INSTAGRAM ON MARCH 31, 2020, AND SOMEHOW NOW WHENEVER I DO ANY NEW POSTS ON INSTAGRAM HER PHOTO IS WHAT COMES UP FIRST.
DONNA WANTS ME TO WRITE HER STORY. But what exactly does she want me to do? She has assembled all the facts there are to know on this feisty-looking (and diminutive) lady. Does she want me simply to restate them? Or does she want me to make believe I know her from the inside out? And tell the story as if I am her?
I did that at one point, I WROTE "FILOMENA BY THE SEA," a short story?
Should I write more in that voice? IN OTHER WORDS SHOULD I MAKE IT ALL UP?
Should I write fiction or journalism, or just a SERIES OF POEMS?
MY HEAD IS IN A WHIRLWIND. I AM BEING GINA.
I AM be ing in GINA. I AM be ing in GOD.
And this is where I want to stay, writing this way, from my BLEEDING HEART, from this day forward to forever.
ALL I CAN SAY IS I AM SO SO GRATEFUL THAT I HAVE MY BEST WRITING BUDDY PEG WORDS I MEAN WOODS READING THIS -- AS SHE WOULD SAY --