Thursday, February 21, 2019

Fingers Against Strings

Here I sit
wondering what to 
DO
NEXT.
It used to be that I was
busy 500 percent of the time.
But now that I’m trying to cultivate
AWARENESS
by
STOPPING
by
BEING in the present moment
by
feeling the sensations of flesh and muscle and bone 
inside my body
by
watching the things my mind says and
wants to do.
Now that all of that is going on
there are moments 
when
I am confused about what to do.
I think I should be accomplishing
SOME
THING.
SIGNIFICANT.
When really all I want to do is
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Recently I started guitar lessons
because I love the sound and feel of
fingers against strings.
The first lesson was fun
But then I HAD TO LEARN A SONG.
I had to focus on counting
And chord changes
And strumming.
SOMETHING DIDN’T CLICK.
The fingers against strings
and the resounding of the guitar
around my heart
were missing.
So now instead of lessons.
I am gong to pick up the guitar
And cradle it against my chest like it is a baby
And I am going to set
my fingernails against the strings
and see what happens
NEXT.

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

"Whatever Heaven Offers"

This is how the dream feels:
simple but full
of a strange
mystery too.
I keep reaching into some
kind of bottle or box
for new

blue contact lenses.
I lay them in my eyes
to see
the color of a pale sky.
I am seeing myself 
as a teacher of writing again too.

When I wake up, absolutely
everything feels possible.
I am skywriting
I am rewiring
I am uncluttered and
bathed in
rays of buttery light.

I tell Mary about the
dream and she says
think about this:
contact has a double meaning:
it describes the lenses yes
but it is also the condition
of new touching.
You have fresh vision in a
blue that is
cleansing and purifying.
It’s a wash that makes you
ready to deliver
whatever heaven
offers up.