Last month I told the story of doctors discovering that I have have blood clots in my lungs and legs. I vowed to tell it as a positive story, as I'm basically fine. So easily it could have ended up a tragically serious situation.
Well this week, I've had to face what feels like a bigger challenge: the hematologist I saw wants me to HAVE ANOTHER CAT SCAN. Even though the scan of my chest was clean, the doctor wants to make sure the entire torso is cancer free as well.
In a small number of cases, cancer can cause blood clots.
On Friday, I had to return to the hospital to get the scan. It took three nurses four tries to insert the IV (having had chemo 20 years ago wrecked my veins.)
I won't find out the results until I see the doctor on Monday.
I'm having a much harder time finding a positive story, because I have gotten scared. I have been feeling a lot of anxiety lately and the challenge is: how to keep myself from telling scary stories. Stories like, I'm falling into the same kind of depression I suffered back in 2012.
Well today in meditation, I found the determination to stand up and ERASE ALL THE NEGATIVES! I AM DETERMINED TO TELL POSITIVE STORIES. I'm determined to turn SCARED thoughts into ones that are SACRED! Remember you only have to switch the C and the R to transform the word!
Story One: "I recovered from that depression several years ago (2014 or so), and I am not going back there ever again. I am working with mental health good professionals, which wasn't true in 2012."
Story Two: "I know how to keep connected to the SACRED, by staying PRESENT IN THE NOW!"
Story Three: "Staying in touch with the body and the breath keeps you in the now, and swivels you into the SACRED!"
Story Four: "I know how important it is to ACCEPT THINGS AS THEY ARE!!!"
Story Five: "I have learned that to stay in the NOW IT'S CRUCIAL TO STOP THINKING!"
Story Six: "I know how important it is to SURRENDER TO WHAT IS!!!!"
Story Seven: "I have a fabulous family who make me smiled with joy."
Story Eight: "I have a spritual therapist named Mary who has helped me discover enormous joy and power in my life!"
Story Nine: "Through daily meditation, I have learned how to turn around a glum morning feeling into something very special: a connection to the Divine!"
Story Ten: "I am strong and resilient and healthy and I will deal with whatever medical situation I have to face."
Story Eleven: "I have a loving daughter in the medical profession. She has been following my situation closely."
Story Twelve: "I have the love of so many friends who believe in me and my good health!"
Story Thirteen: "I am so grateful for all of my blessings!"
I picked the SURRENDER AND RELEASE Angel card today:
"When you hold on tightly to a part of your life that's not working, it has no room to heal...However, if you're willing to open your hands and allow the situation to be freed, one of two situations will occer: Either it will be washed away from you and replaced by a better situation, or the situation will heal in a miraculous way. By drawing this card, the angels ask you to try not to control the outcome of your troubling situation. Let go, and let God help you!"