Just when I think there are no more miracles around me, and my energy for this book has fizzled up, something quite amazing happens.
It’s Friday, mid-day, and my son Noah is visiting. I’m having a heart to heart conversation with my journal, asking, what is worth doing in the world? I’m just writing this: “I think the only things worth accomplishing are those efforts that put me in direct touch with the Divine mystery.”
At that very moment, Noah knocks softly on my bedroom door. I open the door and he takes a step inside. He holds something up.
He’s on the phone, as he is so often for the job in solar energy that he’s working remotely. But he’s clearly as amazed as I am. He leads me to the back patio. He tends to pace back and forth when he's on his phone calls, and his wanderings led him to this:
A beautiful geode, which sparkles in the sun! It's absolutely stunning.
“How did you find this?” I whisper, not wanting to interrupt his phone conversation.
He shrugs and whispers back, “I was right over here near the porch door when I saw something glimmering in the sun.”
This is our fourth summer in the house, and we have never seen anything like it! The geode was sitting in the stones that abut the foundation -- they are there for drainage.
How do we explain this?
Anyone reading this blog knows I have been running on empty, inspiration wise. I must say that laying my eyes on the mystery geode has revved me up again. When I think about it, I have been the recipient of many, many "coindinkies" over the years.
Just when I am starting to lose faith in the Universe, it delivers up -- literally -- another gem for me.
Thank you Universe for another coinkydinky, I go back to my journal and write THANK YOU I REALLY NEEDED THIS!
Maybe I can write this book after all. Maybe, as Mary and Rich keep saying to me, "YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING YOURSELF NEGATIVE STORIES."
In other words, I have to have faith in myself, and in my sacred beliefs, and in this book, whatever it turns out to be.
I also have to accept things just as they are, and I have to stay, patiently, in the present moment.
My mindfulness teacher and dear friend Greg T has been so so helpful making me see the beauty of paying attention in the NOW. He keeps emphasizing the value of acceptance and non-judgement. Last week he discussed in great detail the importance and benefits of patience.
I continue to be a willing student, who wants so much to enhance her practice, and who also, wants desperately to keep writing.
The next day I look up "geodes and healing" on Google and this is what I find:
"Bigger geodes can help create a chi flow in areas of your home. Many see geodes as a feminine property due to the cavity which could represent the womb. Geodes can help communicate with divine beings and assist in creating better moods, balances, and energies that can help with meditation, stress and decision-making."
Noah notices my mood shift after the geode appeared.
I fear the mood shifts as they send me on roller coaster rides emotionally.
I will be meditating from here on with the goal of keeping a steady state, connected to the Divine.
How do I explain what happened yesterday?
Is my mother trying to communicate with me?
She has before.
This is what happened:
On Saturday morning I use the English to Italian translator on my phone to write:
“Our son Noah is visiting and I am so glad!”
“Nostro figlio Noah sta visitando e sono cosí felices!”
I write these two sentences down in my journal.
A FEW HOURS LATER I LOOK BACK AT THE TRANSLATOR AND THIS IS WHAT IT ADDED WITHOUT MY TYPING IT!
“Our son Noah is visiting and I am so glad MOM”
“Nostro figlio Noah sta visitando e sono cosí felices MAMMA”
I tell Rich that I am back in the COSMOS EVERYWHERE I TURN mood. In this mood I can stare at leaves bristling in the wind and I can just keep staring and I am in bliss. It's what I think it would feel like to be taking
This switch into a drug-like state has happened to me enough times so that now, today, Sunday, September 13, 2020, at 10:03, am I recognize the mood shift.
Rich comes in the study as I am writing this post and I tell him,
"Honey, it's happened again. I am back in the manic state."
He kisses me gently on the top of the head and says the most important thing I can do is
to STAY CALM>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
For some reason, I think what i need to do is
to write as LEAH:
"Leah gets up from her chair and walks over to the table where she keeps the giant purple notebook called "PEARLY EVERLASTING," the title of the book she is writing. She opens the book at random and
She starts to read:
WAKING UP TO WHAT’S IMPORTANT
Before she woke, about 4:30 a.m., Leah’s dreams carried her someplace exciting like Italy where she was chiseling limestone and then entering the sculpture into an important art show. She was working alongside other artists including her dear cousin Pat Rotondo, an exquisite painter she respects so much.
Leah loves those art dreams, when absolutely everything seems possible.
About 5:25 a.m., Leah got out of bed and made a protein shake and coffee. Then she sat in meditation. She sat in the front yard under the new robin’s nest that rests in the V of the pergola rafters.
At some point she took a photo of the irises that once grew in Grandpa Angelo Ricci’s yard. Those irises were magnificent and these in her yard are going to be just as magnificent when they bloom. Fortunately Leah’s sister Karen was wise enough to take some of Grandpa’s irises years back. Karen carried them to her home when she moved across the country to California. And then she moved them back when she returned to build a home in Massachusetts. That’s when Leah got smart and took some to her own home.
Now she is sitting in her study staring outside at the empty garden sitting between limestone boulders beside the forest. The rocks rest there with such equanimity.
That word, equanimity, is one she wants to chew up and swallow. She wants her mood swings of late to come to rest like a hammock strung between two trees. Why is it so easy for some people, like her husband, just to live day after day without so much emotional turmoil?
Remember what Rich said:
STAY CALM. AS CALM AS THIS EMPTY GARDEN YOU CAN SEE FROM YOUR WINDOW>>>>>>>>>>>>
Stay in your body.
Remember God is in every moment and in everything you do think read write say sing eat and see.
JUST BE PRESENT IN EVERY MOMENT JUST STAY IN YOUR BODY>>>>
BE LIKE THE EMPTY GARDEN, CALM CALM CALM CALM
BE LIKE THE SEPTEMBER FLOWERS, where your grandfather Angelo's irises bloomed in the spring!