FINALMENTE HO CAPITO: GRAZIE DI TUTTO!
THE SWITCH WENT ON ABOUT 9:23 THIS MORNING.
I sat there, staring at the angel cards. Staring at the purple flame. I stopped to read from
THE POWER OF NOW
page 182: You have only to "live in complete acceptance of what is, that is the end of all drama in your life."
At exactly 9:23, I wrote:
"I accept the non-creative feeling. I accept the wordlessness."
At 9:25 a.m. I translated that second sentence into Italian:
"Accetto l'assenza di parole."
I accept the absence of words.
9:26 a.m. I write in my journal: Finally I understand. I MUST BE WITH WHAT I AM.
I am Italian American. I am Claudia. I am Gina. I am Leah. To my sister Holly, Hawzy, I am Cawzy. (Because she couldn't say Claudia as a child she calls me CAW!)
Finally I understand.
FINALMENTE (A WORD WHICH DEE USED TO SAY WITH GREAT SPIRIT.
When someone finally arrived, or something finally happened, Dee would say "FEEENALLLMENDE!"
YOU ARE HERE DEE YOU ARE HERE!)
Finalmente ho capito. Devo stare con quello che sono.
9:26 a.m. Grazie per tutto.
9:34 a.m. FOR ALL MY BLESSINGS.
At this moment, I realize I don't know the Italian word for blessings. So I pick up the ITALIAN ENGLISH dictionary that Holly gave me a while back. I open and find the book has been inscribed:
"To: Mom, From: Holly, XMAS 1994." I took a photo and texted it to Holly and wrote:
"Dearest HAWZY, I was sitting in meditation a few moments ago and finally realized that I have to accept everything just exactly as it is. Eckert Tolle says that over and over in his book, THE POWER OF NOW. So I came up with the phrase, "Grazie per tutto" and then I wanted to see what the word blessings is in Italian. So I picked up the dictionary you gave me and I opened it and I saw that you had given this dictionary to our beloved mother, DEE. So you see you are here with me and so is Dee. I love you so much and I wish you a most pleasant day! Happy swimming in your new pool. Love, Cawzy"
9:36 a.m. GRAZIE PER TUTTO LE MIE BENEDIZIONI!
THANK YOU FOR ALL MY BLESSINGS!
9:38 GRAZIE DI TUTTO.
9:42 I accept everything the way it is.
9:43 ACCETTO TUTTO COSI COM'é.
I accept everything, the sadness, the anger, the hurt, the uncertainty and yes, even the moments of TOTAL DESPAIR THERE WILL BE THOSE MOMENTS WHEN YOU SCREAM I HATE THE DEPRESSIOIN
but don't think for a moment they ruin you, NO, as Mary says, they pass when you let them run through you like a river.
9:44 a.m. ACCETTO TUTTO
I accept EVERYTHING.
MILLE GRAZIE CARO DIO! A thousand thank yous dear God